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Full Transcript: Who Do You Want to Be in Difficult Conversations?

To begin, take a few slow breaths and allow your body to settle into a posture that’s supported, but alert. Recall a recent interaction where you worried about saying the wrong thing. Kindly give yourself permission to not linger on the outcome of that situation. Instead, bring your attention to the physical sensations you experienced at the time. Can you recall how your breathing and heart rate felt? What were your muscles doing? Remember to gently breathe as you recall this interaction. 

Now turn your attention to the emotions you experienced. Did you feel any anger, fear, or sadness? Welcome these feelings now . . . breathing slowly.  

What were those emotions telling you was important? Were they letting you know why this conversation was important to you, or were they coming from a place of fear or protection, or perhaps even both? What did these emotions let you know you cared most about? What did they tell you about what made the conversation challenging? Remember to keep breathing in and out.  

Now think about the type of person you wanted to be in that exchange. What did you want to embody? It’s natural to focus on what you did wrong—or what you didn’t do but wish you had—so be gentle and kind as you think back. Was the issue important? Or the relationship? Maybe both? Or something entirely different? Let these reflections about what or who was important inform your choices about how you would like to show up to a conversation like this one.  

Breathing slowly, ask yourself: Who do I want to be in this encounter? What do I want to embody? Again, remember to breathe with kindness and without judgment.  

Now, finish this sentence for yourself: I want to be the kind of person who ________________. 

When you’re ready, come back into an awareness of your physical body in that supported and alert posture. Gently, and with kindness, come back to the present moment and to the pages of this book, taking one last, full breath cycle—in through your nose and out through your mouth with a sigh.